It’s that time of year when mistletoe is hung at office Christmas parties, during which any woman employee may be caught off-guard — or maybe not! — and be kissed by an office mate.
But will that mate be able to follow-through later with sex — consensually of course — in an empty office or after the party in the parking lot or motel bedroom?
Did you know that as many as 60% of men lucky enough to get the mistletoe “free ride” will be unable to achieve an erection later, when the time is right, due to a little-known but REAL medical condition?
Of course, we are talking about Office Party Sexual Encounter Xeropenileia (OP-SEX). Note: “Xeropenileia” literally means “abnormal dryness of the penis” (see “List of unusual words beginning with X“).
OP-SEX should NOT be confused with simple ED (erectile dysfunction), which affects fewer men. OP-SEX is much more prevalent due to several factors, including excessive alcohol consumption and feelings of guilt, which are sometimes, but not always, mitigated by the alcohol.
Don’t let OP-SEX ruin YOUR office party!
Get this year’s NUMBER ONE office party favor: MacJon Industries’ patent-pending Mistletoe Erection DispenserTM (aka “MED”) — “Every erection begins with a kiss!SM”
With MED you’ll be certain that your party goers will have a satisfying mistletoe experience and NOT be stymied by OP-SEX.
The Viagra dispenser model is shown above. Cialis and Levitra versions are also available. You can also order the “Canadian” version, which accepts pills ordered from online Canadian pharmacies (will not work with pills originating south of the border).
Clap, Clap, Dispense, Dispense
MED is simple to use! Merely clap your hands while directly under the mistletoe MED dispenser and a pill will be dispensed as shown. Either the woman or the man can initiate the clap, but we recommend that the woman does it.
The great thing about it is that everyone else at the party will think the woman is really enjoying the kiss and cannot refrain from applauding the guy! On the other hand, if she does NOT clap, no one will be the wiser (MED’s dispenser is discreetly camouflaged so only those in the know will be the wiser).
And guys, if and when the woman claps, you know you are in line for the full monty! Don’t mess it up by saying something like: “Viagra! I don’t need that!” Remember, we are not talking about ED but about OP-SEX, which can strike any man in a similar situation!
MEDs ARE SERIOUS PRODUCTS and should not to be abused as simple “office party gags!”
To order your MED today, simply send $25 plus $9.95 (S&H) to:
MacJon Industries
222 LeFraud Ave
Cayman Islands
Please make checks out to “cash.”
To order and pay online by credit card, click this button:
SPECIAL ORDER DISCOUNT for Pfizer, Lilly, and Bayer sales reps who wish to order MEDs in bulk to give away to their physician clients — product logos included! Contact sales@macjonind.com for details,
SPECIAL LIMITED TIME OFFER!
Invite John Mack to your Christmas office party and he will bring ONE COMPLIMENTARY MED (you supply the Viagra). For more information about this offer, see “Last Chance to Invite Me to Your Holiday Office Party!“
Disclaimer
Please read this disclaimer carefully.
Although the information and recommendations are presented in good faith and believed to be correct, MacJohn Industries makes no representations or warranties as to the completeness or accuracy of the information.
Furthermore, MacJon Industries’ products — including, but not limited to, the Mistletoe Erection Dispenser (aka, “MED”) line of products — are supplied upon the condition that the persons receiving same will make their own determination as to its suitability for their purposes prior to use. In no event will MacJon Industries be responsible for damages of any nature whatsoever resulting from the use of or reliance upon information from this site or the products to which the information refers.
MacJon Industries does not warrant the accuracy or timeliness of the materials on this site and has no liability for any errors or omissions in the materials.
MacJon Industries PRODUCTS ARE PROVIDED ON AN “AS IS” BASIS. NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OR OF ANY OTHER NATURE ARE MADE HEREUNDER WITH RESPECT TO INFORMATION OR THE PRODUCTS TO WHICH INFORMATION REFERS.
DID YOU KNOW? FACTS ABOUT MISTLETOE
The actual word mistel means dung (not actually a word I usually connect with smooching.) Though the plant causes diarrhea if eaten, the reason its name is derived from excrement is because birds eat the berries and defecate the seeds. (Uh, are you getting a warm snuggly feeling? Cause I’m still not.)
But there is more. Because of the resemblance of the sticky white berry juice to certain… er… excretions on the part of males, the plant is associated with fertility and is considered an aphrodisiac. Thus, the tradition of passion under the plant which leads to luck in relationships.
Most people are unaware that the magic only works if the man plucks one berry off for every kiss he exchanges with a woman. When all the berries are gone, so is the plant’s potency.
I gather the man kisses the woman, crushes the berry, and winks as if to say, “Hey baby, want to see more of this stuff.” And the woman is so overcome by his virility and suavity that she succumbs to more than his lips. Then they have such great uh… excretions that their partnership is blessed.
Source: “Mistletoe: A Sexy Parasite?“
