The Wall Street Journal reported today that in the wake of questions about Chantix’s safety, Pfizer “plans Thursday to run ads in five major newspapers in which its medical director explains Chantix’s risk-benefit balance. Next week, the company will start hosting round-table discussions on Chantix for members of the media.” [my emphasis; see “Pfizer Seeks to Counter Chantix Concerns“.]

Regular readers of Pharma Marketing Blog know that I like to be invited to piss inside the tent rather than pissing outside it (see, for example, “Innerstate Private Screening: Philadelphia Style“). When I say “piss,” I mean “dis” Chantix as in “Chantix Road Rage – Revisted.”

If Centocor and Michael Moore can invite me inside their tents, I hope Pfizer will invite me to participate in its roundtable discussion with the media. I assume that the “regular” media bloggers over at Pharmalot and WSJ Health Blog have already been invited.

The following is my open letter request to the Pfizer corporate communications folk:

Oh Pfizer, won’t you invite me to your Chantix roundtable?
My friends all are media types, I must make amends.
Worked hard on my blog, no help from the press,
So Pfizer, won’t you please invite me to your table?

Oh Pfizer, won’t you send me your new Chantix DTC ad for TV?
The yokels at the FDA won’t talk to me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Pfizer, won’t you send me your new Chantix DTC?

Oh Pfizer, won’t you buy me a dinner in New York town?
I’m counting on you, Pfizer, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Pfizer, won’t you buy me a dinner in New York town?

Everybody!
Oh Pfizer, won’t you invite me to your Chantix roundtable?
My friends all are media types, I must make amends.
Worked hard on my blog, no help from the press,
So Pfizer, won’t you please invite me to your table?

That’s it!

Apologies to Janis Joplin.